Memories
by WolfQueen13
Summary: She was alone. She didn't remember much. This is a recording of the only thing she can remember of the woman who loved her most. Continued.
1. One Last Dance

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Charmed. I will never own Charmed. This idea is, however, mine. Do not plagerize it! Feel free, however, to write sequals and be inspired. Let me know, and I'd be happy to read it.

Summary/Description: This is a fanfiction written in Phoebe's point of view as she looks back on her one memmory of her mother. I hope you enjoy it, reviews are welcomed but I can't seem to get my new email working.

I wasn't the quietest baby in the world, by far. I had a thing with staying up until two in the morning, screaming my lungs out until my mother came in and got me. But I don't really remember any of that- just that Grams used to tell me what a horror I was. It scared my mother to death when, at nearly three, I'd still lay in there screaming. Maybe I was having nightmares, who really knows? No one in my family was a mind reader, and all of my memories from that age have faded. I don't remember my favorite toy, my best friend in the world, my favorite color, my favorite animal...nothing. I suppose it's because I had a 50 track mind...that never slowed down for even a minute.

I don't remember how my mother smiled at me, or how she gave me a kiss on the forehead every night after working, or how she used to come in my room in the morning practically singing with joy- like Prue and Piper remember. I don't remember how her hands stroked my hair or my back when I was crying, I just don't remember. It used to hurt me so bad, to know that I wouldn't have a memory left of my mother. The woman who gave birth to me. The woman a child loves most, out of the entire world. You know, nine out of ten kids who are abused even, would rather stay with their parents. I wasn't abused. But for most of my life, I felt abandoned.

My dreams and my memories deserted me. My mother left me. My father left me. And Grams was just always so...unaccepting. She was very strict in her Christian 'law' and never allowed any room to breathe. So imagine a lonely five-year-old girl who was even abandoned by her memories. That was me.

I was the loudest. That was no secret. I was the fastest, and I was the loudest, and I was the roughest. In fact, Grams told me that when my mom would play with me, she'd throw me on the bed. Not really hard, but the harder I landed the more I laughed. I don't remember that either, but I was only an infant. Even if I still had my mom, it wouldn't make much of a difference on that note.

Prue and Piper used to always teaze me about how I never really got to know her. "She'd have to knock before she came into your dreams" "I wouldn't be surprized if she's forgotten all about you" and things like that. I pretended that it didn't really bother me, but it did. There are a few instances that I remember, being a little girl- no older than eight years old- going to bed and crying myself to sleep. That was when I wasn't very loud, but I used to cry myself to sleep because I knew that they were telling the truth. And of course, at that age, I thought it was my fault. It was my own fault that she died- as a natural reaction I was blaming myself.

It wasn't until I got a little older that I realized that I really do have a memory left. I was almost three, I remember that much. I believe it was just a couple weeks before my birthday, and I woke up screaming. If I had ever been asleep. That I don't remember. But I remember that I was scared, and who better to see when you're afraid than mommy? Of course, Grams and Dad were up too... every one supposed there was a miracle going on because my sister's didn't wake up.

At that point, my mom did what she usually did. She took my temperature, gave me a sippy cup with warm milk, called the doctor, and let me stay up a little while and watch TV. It normally didn't take that long, only about ten minutes, but I wasn't in a very sleepy mood that night. 15 minutes passed. Then 20. Dad and Grams were getting ready to pass out, while mom was pacing. She always panicked when I got up like this.

"Mommy?" I don't remember what my voice sounded like, but in my head I kind of imagine it being a bit whiney. Like I was talking through my nose or some thing.

"Yes?" I know what her voice sounded like, just from being back in time. I can remember exactly what she sounded like. She must've been expecting me to give her some thing to let her know that I was ready for bed. No such luck.

"Dance!" I giggled, outstretching my hand. "I wanna dance." I took her finger into my hand, and held it tightly.

"Will you go to bed after we dance?" she asked, crouching down on my level. I grinned ecstatically.

"I promise mommy." I told her innocently, and she smiled at me agreeingly.

"What do you want to dance to?" she asked, opening the CD Player.

"Hmm... Christmas Songs!" I grinned thoughtfully. "How about Rudolf?"

She nodded, laughing slightly, and put the CD in. The music started, and my mom and I danced the night away- well, for about 5 minutes until the song was over. Of course, I wasn't quite three yet, and I was clumsy, so I wasn't the best dancer in the world...but mom didn't mind. She followed me, and some times I'd follow her but end up messing the whole thing up. I think that this was the last time I woke up screaming, too. Afterwards, she took me into bed and laid me down.

"Thank you mommy."

"You're welcome baby girl."

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, my angel."


	2. Her Final Breath

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Charmed. I will never own Charmed. This idea is, however, mine. Do not plagerize it! Feel free, however, to write sequals and be inspired. Let me know, and I'll be happy to read it!

Description/Summary: This has changed. Now I have decided to sort of journey back through all of their memories. I may even do one for Patty (their mom). This one is Prue's, and in her point of view as well. Please enjoy and review. Constructive critisism is always welcome, but if you're going to flame me, please tell me why.

Memories. Some people believe that they are the most precious gifts in the world. Many believe this strongly enough to say that they are the keys to magic. The soothers of the soul. The comforters of the mind. Personally, I don't believe that. Not that I despise them, not all of them are bad... it's just...painful. Painful to look back and see who I was from a third person point of view... it's strange really. Because I don't like to be in myself. To be in my shoes. When I'm alone, some times I imagine myself as a naive twenty year old, watching my life unfold.

As a small child, I definitely had my share of mishaps. Fingers slammed in doors, falling off of chairs, falling off of bikes...I was the clumsiest Halliwell in the house. The slightest poke and I would fall. But in the end, I could laugh about it. Now of course, I don't have a lot of memories from my toddlerhood. I just remember the day I was potty trained, my mom threw a party. Don't ask why that's the memory I chose to keep.

Other than my clumsiness, I suppose I was just a normal kid. With supernatural powers. My memories of them were lost... so I can't tell you any thing about what I did with them. Nothing, however, seems to hurt me as bad and effect me as much as my last memory of my mom. And I don't mean the last intimate moment we shared, though that is a part of what makes me so afraid. I'm talking about the day that she died.

I was seven, and finally old enough to go to the camp with all the other kids. The actual camp and singing around the campfire stuff didn't start until the summer, but because the winter had wandered off so quickly they were giving out tours and information.Mom said that she was busy that day, so I managed to get Grams to take me. Neither one of them knew that the camp was on the same lake that my mother would be drowning in that very day... I don't think any body could've known.

The camp director, Mrs. Johnson, was showing us the girl's cabin where she said I would stay. Next, she had said, that we were going down to visit the lake. According to Grams, that was one of the biggest attractions there. Now, I wasn't the biggest fish in the sea... but I'd swim. And some times I enjoyed it, and some times I didn't. I much preferred pools. With slides. That I could fall off of.

I remember turning, right towards the dock, and seeing mommy laying there. I thought she had just fallen down or some thing, mom was clumsy too. I never bothered to ask why she was there- some times she liked to just pop up and meet me in places. Maybe she was looking for me. So I ran away from the cluster of people, who had began to take shelter inside the cabin. I could hear an ambulance... but nothing was new around here. I couldn't distinguish much between an ambulance and a cop, and with people speading down the highway... it wasn't any thing new.

"Mommy!" I cried, curious as to why she didn't respond. She was laying there, now with a bunch of people towering over her. Even Andy's dad was there. Normally, I would've been happy to see him, but since he was in his uniform I knew that there was some thing wrong. "Mommy!" I screamed again, getting closer to her. She was in a strange black bag with a zipper.

"Is that her little girl? Some one get her away from here- no one wants to see her mom like this."

"MOMMY!" I was panicing. I never knew what the worst that could possibly happen was. This...was far worse than if I had had my arm cut off in a door.

"Hey, are you Prue?" I heard Andy's dad right behind me. "Your Grams sent me to get you." he got down near me and grabbed me gently, being careful like he normally was. I bruised kinda easily...a lesson he'd learned the hard way...but even though he was a cop I was never afraid around him. "Come on, let's go inside." he told me, hoisting me up over his shoulder. He faced me away from the reckage, and set me down by one of the ambulance cars.

"Prudence!" my Grams shouted, breathlessly overjoyed that I had been all right.

"Grams, " I blinked, confused. She didn't seem moved at all by all the hub-bub. "what happened to mommy?"

"What dear?" she asked, looking out towards the dock. That look like Oh Shit just came over her face, and she looked back at me, smiling softly.

"Is mommy gonna be okay?" I asked, though I didn't honestly know what the worst could possibly happen if she wasn't... I guess I figured that she may just need a nap. I was only seven... how was I supposed to understand?

I suppose she didn't have a good answer for me, because she ignored the question. "Let's go home..." she said, but it kind of looked like she was going to pass out.

And, well...that's my memory. The worst memory I own, the last one of my mother. I didn't actually know what happened, just that mommy was gone. It was a lot to loose...but apparently I could handle it. It's just one of those memories that, even today, don't seem real. I only know- I only remember- when I look out on the dock and I see in black and white the steps she took. I remember all the things I saw and all the things I've learned. A few times, I've even gotten out on to the dock. I know the thing is vanquished, killed, dead, bada-boom...but just like my mother...I kind of expect him to jump out at me. Force me to follow in my mother's footsteps.


	3. Spanking is Barbaric

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Charmed. I will never own Charmed. This idea is, however, mine. Do not plagerize it! Feel free, however, to write sequals and be inspired. Let me know, and I'd be happy to read it.

Summary/Description: This is a chapter, written in Piper's point of view as she struggles with an old memory after simply being asked; "Why do you think Spanking is Barbaric?". Please enjoy. I also wrote this one in Flash Back format because I thought it would be more appropiate.

I had almost forgotten. In fact, I did forget. Funny, how things so painful can just slip your mind. You cry about them for a while, but once you're over them (or at least think you are) they just run.

What I'm talking about is my 18'th birthday. I think I'm finally starting to realize that birthday's are all cursed. And I wouldn't even have remembered if not for Phoebe and her questioning. "Piper," she asked me, just as Wyatt had gotten up; "why do you think that spanking is barbaric?"

My head must've spun around in fifty different direction at that moment, and I could actually feel my body paling. My eyes shifted, and I had to shift my body away slowly. "I'll tell you later." I managed, sitting down with my son.

_Flash Back;_

_"Piper, are you absolutely sure you don't want a birthday party? This is your 18'th birthday, you should be celebrating!"_

_"Grams, I'm NOT 5-years-old anymore. I don't need a birthday party. Besides, I'm busy tonight." _

_"You're always busy dear, why can't you just sit down for a bit and at least spend some time with us?" _

_"Because I'm not in Highschool any more Grams, I'm in college. And I have a really hard calculus exam tomorrow." I threw my jacket on over my long-sleeved shirt and fluffed it up a little around the bottom, just like I usually did. _

_"Just because you're in college doesn't mean you can't get some time off." Grams frowned, sighing heavily. "You've been studying for this same exam for the last two weeks."_

_"I know, I know. But Mr. Smitz says it's going to be a killer...and you know I'm not so well with Calculus."_

_"Not so well as in one B+ and two A-'s?" _

_"That's because I studied hard for two weeks." I smiled, happy to have a way out, and hugged her. "Tell you what, I get 100 on this exam and we'll all go out for icecream. Deal?"_

_"I thought you weren't 5-years-old any more." she joked in response, kissing the side of my face like most grandmother's do. _

_"Grams..." I laughed lightly, grinning back at her as I neared the door. _

_"Can I push you up to a 95?" _

_"You really want that ice cream, don't you?" _

_"You bet."_

_"Okay Grams, 95 and above. I promise."_

_"See you later dear!"_

_I walked out to the car I'd been using, a 1977 Dodge Aspen, colored about the color of a plum with red and black interior. It wasn't my car, I had actually been borrowing it from Andy's father. He told me that I shouldn't worry about ever getting it back to him, and that he had enough cars for himself (especially after the divorce; so I decided to use it until I had enough money saved up to buy my own car. _

_I got in, and quickly made my way out of the drive way. One minor detail that I had forgotten? Gas. So after about fifteen minutes, the car stopped. I managed to pull over near a payphone, and got out, my jacket pockets filled with change from all sorts of things. I ran over to it, and hurriedly stuck the change in so I could dial the number._

_Riiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiing. _

_"Come on Diane, answer the damn phone..." I growled. At the time, I wasn't one to swear much,but I was alone and quite a bit ticked off that I hadn't even made a 23 mile trip to her house._

_Riiiiii- "Colton residence. Diane speaking." at that moment, I couldn't have hated how she answered that stupid phone any more. It was so freaking rediculous, like a recording being played over and over._

_"Why did you just give your last name out?" I asked, though there were more ways than one that I hated how she answered. "You didn't know who I was."_

_"Good point. My mom just said that's how I should answer. What's up Piper?"_

_"Well, my car ran out of gas and I'm in the middle of nowhere. Could you possibly come and pick me up?"_

_"Sure. What street are you on?"she responded, I could tell she was munching on chips._

_"Avenue 45." I replied, squinting at the sign. It was pitch dark outside, so it was a little hard to see,but I was close enough apparently. _

_"Cool. I'll be right there."_

_"Okay Diane. Thank you SO much. Bye."_

_"Bye."  
We both hung up, and I decided to stand around a bit. If Diane was actually leaving, it wouldn't take her long. Still...knowing Diane...she probably had just started getting dressed and applying make-up. If there was one thing I'd never understand about her, that would be it. Here it was, 8:30 at night, pitch dark outside, not to mention near freezing cold, and she was at home...applying make-up. She had always been that way. She even used to put make-up on when she went to Wal-Mart for some snacking items. And at the moment, I couldn't have hated that any more. The inside of the car would've made me feel claustrophobic after a while, but I didn't want to go too far in case she came up while I was gone, so I stood with my back against the telephone box, wishing I had put on some thing warmer. Despite the brown leather jacket, long-sleeved black T-shirt, plus jeans and tennishoes since it wasn't snowing yet- I was freezing it felt to death. I moaned, shivering, and jumping from paranoia when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned, and behind me was Myles- who had been my boyfriend for two years. _

_"Myles." I breathed, making sure my relief was obvious. "It's so good to see you." I instantly walked over and hugged him, only to be smothered by the scent of alcohol. I coughed and backed away a bit, trying not to get too angry with him and decide automatically what he had been doing. "Are you feeling all right?"_

_"Pretty good." he replied, and in his voice I could hear that he was drunk. Maybe only slightly, but his body was soaked with beer...so maybe he'd been in a fight? I sighed, trying to make myself believe that it was some one else's fault. _

_"How has your night been?" I asked, trying not to alienate him or accuse him of any thing until I knew every thing._

_"My night? " he grinned, obviously delighted. "My night's been great...thanks to you, Amanda." he purred,sounding a little awkward. He moved towards me, seeming to limp a little on both legs. _

_"Myles..." I laughed lightly, mostly nervous. I backed away, hitting the pay phone box, praying silently that Myles was only joking. "Thi-this is Piper. My name isn't Amanda." _

_"Piper?" he grinned, laughing softly. With every step he took, my heart beat faster. I got so scared that every breath seemed to sear my lungs. "How cute you are Amanda... but you know I've never been WITH Piper. She won't let me."_

_"Wi-with? Myles..." I cholked, my fear ringing tightly all over my body. "I'm not Amanda, I'm Piper..." my mind clicked, and a small portion of me was curious. "Who is Amanda?"_

_"Don't be so afraid, baby doll." he smiled, purring. My body bent back slightly, and his legs were now over my waist as he placed his hands against my face. I was shivering violently, but no longer cold. I was terrified. _

_"Myles, what are you doing?" I asked, tearing up. "Please, I love you..." I inwardly hoped that my words would bring him to his senses. _

_"I love you too." he replied, leaning in and kissing me forcefully on the lips. "What's the matter with you, baby?" he asked, taking me into a small forest-like area that was just barely 5 feet away from the telephone poll. _

_"I'm scared. Myles, please stop it, let me go...please." I whimpered, no longer worried about convincing him of who I was.  
"Hmmm..." he replied, sounding as though he were trying to seduce me. "I know exactly what you need." I didn't protest, I was too parylized by fear to think of any thing- until I felt him reach into my jeans. _

_"MYLES!" I snapped, feeling entirely crazy with rage. As violently as I could, I began to squirm around and lash my arms. But all it did was cause me a headache. Myles's grip was too tight on me, I couldn't move. Tears of that realization flooded over my face. My lips quivering, my body shivering worse than it ever had before. My jeans didn't go down all the way, just down to my thighs, and my underwear followed. Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as I thought. _

_At least, that's how I felt until his hand, the hand that he held my hand with, the hand that he carressed my hair so gently with...smacking. It was a strange feeling, but I know it scared me. He kept on, purring. But right before he went any further with me, Diane pulled up. He let his guard down and I ripped by body away from his, running for the car._

_"Finally. Damn it Diane!" I screamed at her once I got in the car._

_"Did you just curse?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at me._

_"Why does it take you so damn long to get your rear end up her to take me to your house?! It's a five minute drive for God's sake!"_

_"Piper, what's wrong with you?" she asked, looking at me. I must've gotten some of the beer on myself as well, because the next words out of her mouth were; "Have you been drinking?"_

_"No! Since when do you know me to drink, Diane? I just met up with some one who was, it's a long story. In a nutshell, Myles had beer all over him, I gave him a hug and now I have it on me too. If you want proof, give me an alcohol test, I don't really care, but I want to get to your house." I was panting, and tears were still falling from my face. My entire body was wracked with shivers, and I felt like I was going to vomit. _

_"How long have you been waiting?" she asked, and I checked my watch. _

_"Fifteen minutes." I responded, beginning to calm down and realize that Diane wasn't the culprit. I got angry again, all of a sudden, and began to snap; "I wouldn't have had to wait so long if you weren't so freaking vain! It's going on 9 at night and you wait to come pick me up so you can get your make-up on?! Who knows what could've happened up here?"_

_Diane frowned, and heaved a sigh. We started down the road to her house, and no one else ever had to know. _


End file.
